Monday, May 26, 2008

Pure incest?

I was going to say this offering from The New York Times is a welcome respite from the mishegas in Lebanon (and if those of you who fret about/burn candles over this situation could please add my friends Mr. Shangles and Brook to your fretting/candle burning, I’d greatly appreciate it—they’re in Beirut for the year, and I’d like to see them get through it alive, of course) and the jaw-droppingly inane Campaign ’08 here in the good ol’ U.S. of Motherfucking A, but I can’t, ‘cause it ain’t. I mean, I’m certainly on more, um, intimate terms with the subject of wise and sober patriarchs guarding their daughters’ purity (not MY dad, of course, but even the most liberal, atheist parents can do only so much to protect their smart-assed heathen daughters from a nonstop infusion of Xtian creepiness), which makes for easier reading but does not prevent one from feeling the need to projectile vomit black bile and/or take a decontamination shower a la Karen Silkwood. And yet, it is a car accident from which I cannot look away, and so I share it with you, that I might not remain alone steeped in projectile vomit. You have been warned.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Oh, will you give it up already?

No. No, I won't. I'm too stubborn, too ornery, and far too vain to dispose of the (highly erroneous) idea that someday, I too shall make you care about what I have to say. So there! ;-p

Anyhooligans (hi, Marci!), consider this blog my attempt to...well, I was going to say make sense of our crazy world, but that's just horseshit. There will be links; there will be complaining. You will laugh. You may cry. You may find yourself in the position of wiping projectile vomit off your screen. Look, it's not my fucking fault there are "purity balls" in Colorado and a bunch of Syrians are trying to take over the entire Middle East. I report; we react. The end.

Oh, FYI - some of these posts have been/will be simulcast on my MySpace page. Feel free to comment here, there, and everywhere. Hey, I'm a vain whore! What else can I say? Except, of course, welcome, and thanks in advance.